It made her laugh
once
for a moment she knew

then
after that
she stood on the corner
always wondering
never taking that step

there was a time when
she could slow it
take a sip of the air
slow sweet taste of his breath

running her fingers through his soft hair
a heated kiss and biting his lip
to hold onto that memory

now the moment keeps slipping away
and she crashes through the rain
a boot stamping the puddle
splashing the next day upon her mind
wiping away her love, lost

this time, starting all over again
again
but now the skin starts to soften
and the days are not so buoyant

and as
the afternoon sags with complacency
she wonders how love has seeped the blood from life
leaving wisdom pale as cynicism
joy as empty as greed
the drained blood congealing to darken the hour

a cloud above casts a shadow on
her conscience
she knows she has not been
the good and pure
and will selfishness in the end
be her downfall

she wonders
or is there no justice in this world
can she play the fates alone
gambling to win
(never finding her true love again )

that love like god is everywhere but nowhere
that it is the bite of life, pinch of skin that tells you
that you are alive
that you have bothered to live
that you have a right
to be cynical
and a choice to be good

that life like love is for taking
that like lust you must enjoy it
with passion, ferocity, abandon

or will she learn that the slow and steady
prepared and rational
smart and careful and practical
are the only ones to find happiness
lasting

she didn't know

but
a dream hanging like wisps of love in the air
carries thought
(the future tense of memories)
and the smell
of future like past can be sweet
to breathe fresh spring air
aspirations

so hope might bring her new days
and flowers
that will splatter new love
yet

would it ever be recovered
her innocence
or was it gone like an echo
bouncing off the reflected memories
in her dreams
of laughter